Aching with the Beauty

A CD was on yesterday as I did housework. A particular verse of a song by Steve and Vicki Cook called I Count It All Joy resonated, and like Lucy listening to Mr. Tumnus play, it made me want to laugh and cry all at once.

Lord, I'll count it all joy
When the weight of sorrow
Drives me to my knees.
Every heartache and pain,
In Your mighty hand,
Is forming Christ in me.

Weight of sorrow driving me to my knees. Heartache forming Christ in me. Psalm 57:2(KJV) says "I will cry God most high, unto God that performeth all things for me." Yes, he performs the incredible, astounding act of forming Christ in me. Giving me a oneness with God, returning me to my Edenic state. Can I count it all joy, can I give thanks in every circumstance? This truth crept up on Ann Voskamp walking down the aisle of a grocery store, "... eucharisteo (thanksgiving) always precedes the miracle." What miracle? Sometimes small miracles, sometimes big miracles, BUT ALWAYS the miracle of CHRIST BEING FORMED IN ME.

My last little baby, at 18 months, just figured out how to climb out of his crib. Small miracle. One that makes me ache with the beauty of it. How blessed I am to have a healthy child with stong limbs and an active, exploring mind that tries new things. A beautiful thing... with the ache of knowing that he is growing up. The beauty and the blessing is mine, but so is the pain. Something that makes me want to laugh and cry all at once.

My Saviour, 2000 years ago, submitted himself to the Father's plan, was scourged and beaten, and fulfilled his destiny of making a way for my reunion with God. THE MIRACLE. Thru himself, he is now being formed in me. The beauty and the blessing is mine, the pain was his. The magnitude cannot be comprehended... "which things the angels desire to look into." 1 Pet. 1:12 Something that makes me want to laugh and cry all at once. Laughter with joy, and tears of thanksgiving.

Can I give thanks in all things, can I count it all joy? When I behold the beauty of my Saviour, my whole inner being, aching for the Day of fulfillment, urges, compels my answer: YES.

No one reads this blog except me, who writes it, and my mother (so much is encompassed in that one little word - mother). At least right now. If these words are only written to draw my own heart to my Saviour, I rejoice. Beholding the beauty of my Savior is worth the cost of crafting them.

There is a conference called She Speaks, the purpose of which is to connect the hearts of women to the heart of their Father in heaven. There is a scholarship available to attend this conference, the details of which are here. Should God ever use my words to encourage others and bless them, then my fruit is multiplied. But I am not responsible for the result, only to my calling of faithfulness.